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How To Develop The Confidence To Do What Matters

Confidence is often quoted as a reason why we aren’t doing that important thing we wish to do.


“If only I felt more confident, I could [take that step] and everything would change.”


Can you relate to this? Perhaps we have all been here at one stage…


Whether it’s starting a new business, applying for a job in a new sector or even making a bold move in our relationships, confidence is often quoted as the requirement to make it happen.


Wrong.


Let’s break confidence down and transform it into a force for change.



What Confidence Isn't

Woman contemplating
Low confidence stops many people from making big progress

The way people speak of confidence turns it into a elusive object that a fortunate few were born with.


“It’s easy for them when they are so confident..” people often say.


Let's address some misconceptions about confidence:


You’re born with it and it’s who you are.


No. Confidence is developed as you increase your competency. It is not a fixed trait but rather a skill you develop.


You need to be extrovert


Some extroverts are actually the least confidence. They are extrovert in an attempt to mask their lack of self-confidence. These are usually people who talk a lot or boast.


You have to be the best


You do not need to be first or be the “best” to then feel confident. Small wins over time compound and reinforce thanks to a positive mindset to create confidence.


Confident people never feel afraid


Fear is a human emotion which means every single person experiences this in different contexts and to varying degrees. Some people are better trained at managing and masking their fear.


Confident people are arrogant


Sometimes people lacking confidence have a negative bias and therefore subconscious distance themselves from this ideal. Confident people can be interpreted as being arrogant however this is often a negative self projection rather than truth.



“The recipe to confidence is 60% skills and 40% courage to apply them.”


What Confidence Actually Is


Hopefully you have a clearer idea of what confidence isn’t by now.


Most people lacking in confidence don’t realise that it is a feeling that is cultivated by increasingly higher levels of competency.


In plain English, the better you become at something, the more confident you feel doing it.


This also means a superstar singer can be confident in their performance in front of thousands of fans and the same singer can feel completely useless helping highschool kids with their homework.


Confidence comes from competency...


...and competency comes from applied learning. Read, assimilate, apply, fail, apply and on and on.


We become confident as a result of developing our skills and then being able to share those skills with others (and be rewarded for them).


This means that you do not need to be confident to take that next step in your work, relationship or other… You just need to increase your skill level (and courage) to do just 1% of it today, another 1% tomorrow and so on.


1% per day compounds into exponential growth.


When you recognise you are improving 1% every day because of the action you took and the learnings you created, you can celebrate and start to immediately feel more buzz and energy (confidence).


The confidence comes not only from successful outcomes but in the process of raising your standards and skill levels.


Action


If you’re in sales, increase your price by 1%.

If you’re working on your marriage, be 1% more present each day.

If you’re focused on fitness, push 1% harder each session.


By now, you have learned that confidence is not a requirement to taking your next steps, rather a consequence of taking that step.


What you actually need to focus on is increasing your skills and abilities, and cultivate the courage to try new things, by applying the 1% per day rule.


Will you take that next step you’ve been thinking about?



Wishing you the absolute very best,

Stefano

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